Wanneroo v Perth Bayswater at Pat O'Hara reserve 9thAugust 2008 

Back to basics for the Roo Dog's.

Wanneroo 1^st grade v Perth Bayswater

Wanneroo had their darkest day of the season by a country mile today. They were totally outplayed and made to look second rate by last year's premiers. The coaching staff and the team are hurting badly, but they make no excuses for their below par performance. They know they were bad and can't wait for the chance to redeem themselves and show everybody the real Wanneroo.

The Dogs started the game with a hiss and a roar and immediately put Perth on the back foot. The forwards drove Perth into their own 22 and for ten minutes it looked like Wanneroo would demolish them and end their season. But the home side withstood the onslaught, broke out of defence and launched a back line attack that reached the Wanneroo 22 untouched. It looked to be a certain try, but with the line open and not a defender within cooee they spilled the ball and the chance evaporated.

Wanneroo resumed where they had left off and hammered into Perth. Tyler beat defenders on the right and then on the left before breaching their 22. When he ran out of space he put a neat little grubber in that deserved to be grounded but Perth scrambled back desperately, got the ball and kicked it into touch to relieve the pressure. They then caught the Dogs on the hop and made another lightning fast break before setting their left winger loose. He sprinted a good 40 metres, beat three men and grubbered the ball past the last defender, regathered it and went over for a very good try. Perth Bayswater 5 - Wanneroo 0.  

The contest became much more even as the two teams vied for ascendency. The home side were looking good when Olley Viney suddenly replicated Perth's stunning breakout. He took the ball on the half way and made a jinking, weaving, high speed run that left a trail of grasping, would-be tacklers in his wake and scored an exceptional individual try in the corner. Perth Bayswater 5 - Wanneroo 5.       

Olley's try seemed to be a signal for Perth to step up their game and for Wanneroo to descend into an unfathomable and almost complete loss of form and structure. Perth dominated in the set piece and in the loose and gave their fly half an uninterrupted supply of ball which he used intelligently. Their continuous pressure resulted in another converted try just before half time.

Half Time: Perth Bayswater 12 - Wanneroo 5.

At half time coach Elwee Prinsloo urged the Dogs to tighten up their one on one tackles and play the game in the Perth half, but it was easier said than done. Perth seemed to have twenty men on the paddock and their forwards pummelled the Dogs up front while their backs ran them ragged out wide. It was fast and furious stuff. Perth burst down the right wing and made it to the try line where last gasp tackling by Tyler and Whemi prevented a try. But it was only a brief respite. It was trench warfare at its toughest and Perth were taking no prisoners. Wanneroo copped a yellow card at one of the defensive breakdowns and Perth crashed over the line while they were depleted. Perth Bayswater 17 - Wanneroo 5.

Wanneroo were under severe pressure and everything they tried fell apart. Perth were upbeat and seemingly unstoppable. Their forwards won easy ball and unleashed their backs at every opportunity. One run shredded the Dog's backline and their centre tore through the middle untouched for a converted try under the posts. Perth Bayswater 24 - Wanneroo 5.

Wanneroo were awarded a penalty which Troy took quickly and passed the ball to Whemi. He made ground, set up a ruck and Tyler returned the well presented ball to Troy who carried it into the Perth half. He grubbered the ball past a defender but was taken out illegally as he went to follow it up. Perth took the free gift and ran in a try from 60 metres.

Perth Bayswater 29 - Wanneroo 5.

The trench warfare intensified up front into a pitched battle as the forwards got more intimate with each other. Perth lost a prop to the sin bin for head butting Jonno and Wanneroo got a consolation try when Hammer finished off a move started by Whemi and scored in the corner. Troy converted but it was too little too late.

 Final Score:            Perth Bayswater 29 - Wanneroo 12.

Wanneroo didn't suddenly become a bad side overnight; they just had a particularly bad day. Even the best teams have a bad day and maybe they were overdue one after the stellar season they have produced. So best get it out of the way now and resume normal service as quickly as possible.

This is still the same side that has glittered so brightly throughout the season and earned the right to contest the finals. They can use the Perth game as a benchmark to assess where they were and where they need to be, then put it behind them and go forward with confidence in their own ability. The home and away rounds are over and the finals are a completely new competition. They are in uncharted territory now and have the same chance as any other team.

We should recognise and acknowledge that this team and their coaches have given our club a season of success that is unprecedented in Wanneroo's history. They have exceeded all our expectations, reached the dizzy heights and tasted the sweetness of success. Now they have had a bad day at the office and know how bitter that is. By dropping to third on the ladder they don't have two bites of the premiership cherry, so they have to seize the moment, be confident and just go for it.

The best thing about this team is that they are very good, very new, still finding things out about themselves and still don't really know what they are capable of.

They are premiership material.

Good luck guys.

You are already champions in the eyes of all at Wanneroo Rugby Club.

Second Grade v Perth Bayswater

Wanneroo came out of the blocks like Olympic sprinters and tore up field like their bums were on fire. A try looked certain, but whatever could go wrong went wrong and Perth came charging towards the Dogs try line. Last gasp defence held them up 5 metres out, but Perth crashed over from the resulting line out. Perth Bayswater 5 - Wanneroo 0

Wanneroo responded with an attack through their outside backs which pressured Perth into conceding a penalty. The Dogs set up a forward drive and forced their way over to equalise.

Perth Bayswater 5 - Wanneroo 5.

A big Perth forward charged into the Wanneroo tackle line near the right wing where Tugboat Todd launched himself at him. Toddy bounced off but managed to dislodge the ball which was toed into the home 22 on the left wing where a Perth player made an awful mess of trying to pick it up. He was pressured by prop Rob Alstin who must be a closet Olympic athlete because he just seemed to appear on the wing (couldn't have been having a bludge could you Rob). Wanneroo continued to harass the ball carriers, got the ball back and resumed their attack. Once again they did all the work only for Perth to break out and score. I didn't see the conversion so I asked the Wanneroo manager, Hengist Potts, if it went over. He replied in the affirmative and told everybody that the score was 12 - 10 to Perth, when it was really. 

Perth Bayswater 10 - Wanneroo 5.

I continued this error for the remainder of the match

(bloody Pottsy, I'll never trust you again - Not even when you say you love me)

A remarkable run by Lawrence saw the Dogs advance to the Perth 22 before being penalised. Perth kicked for the line out and Wanneroo pinched the ball at the throw in. They attacked up the left wing with a good run by Hoops, but he held the ball and lost possession when it would have been prudent to feed his outside runner. More Wanneroo errors allowed Perth to attack and they eventually scored when their number 8 peeled round the front of a line out about 20 metres out. Perth Bayswater 15 - Wanneroo 5.

Wanneroo dug deep and really closed Perth down. Their pressure forced Perth into errors and they conceded a bent arm penalty. Brendan tapped and passed to Dean who took the tackle and popped the ball to a support runner. Another penalty against Perth saw Brendan run wide up the right wing where he drew the defender and moved the ball on. It was inter-passed for some 15 metres before Joe finished off the move with a fine try.

Half time:   Perth Bayswater 15 - Wanneroo 12.

Wanneroo restarted well when Tugboat took the drop out ball and ran it up. Fast hands saw it reach the wing but a knock on stopped their progress. Wanneroo came back hard when their big prop tried to run through Joe Waterman. Joe isn't a big man, but he belted the fat boy and put him on his bum. Perth continued their forward orientated drives, but couldn't break the Wanneroo defence. Jake was prominent with some fierce charges. Rob Davies showed good skills to beat three men before being illegally stopped. Boogie attempted the long distance  conversion and narrowly missed. Wanneroo were on the up and it was inevitable that they would score. They forced a turn over from Perth in their own 22 on the left wing and quickly  put it through hands to the right wing. Boogie gave the last pass to Lawrence who went over in the corner. Perth Bayswater 15 - Wanneroo 17.  

The game degenerated a little when Ben Mizzi retaliated after being punched and copped a red card. He was joined by the rotund Perth prop who ran in from miles away to belt Ben.

Final Score: Perth Bayswater 15 - Wanneroo 17.

Wanneroo 4ths v Midland at Midland (I didn't get a match report)

All I know is that Wanneroo only had 13 players and coach Steve Davis had to come out of retirement and play. Apparently it was a pretty ferocious encounter and Steve went back into retirement fairly quickly when he got knocked out in a bit of a blue.

Final Score: Midland 24 - Wanneroo 0. 

Wanneroo 5ths v Cottesloe at Harvey Field

Our Flatulent Fifths Fought a Ferocious Fantastic Futile Fitful Fervent Football Finale in a Far Flung Forgotten Fallow Field against a Formidable Fatuous Fanatical Fiendish Foe Far From Friends, Fanfare or Fellow Fraternal Football Fogeys. 

The fifths, with five team members who were born in the 1950's, played out a classic game of two half's. Super coach Pat (be there on time or else) Franklin presented the side with a rip roaring new game plan to ensure victory in a canter for the final outing of the season.

The plan was as follows:

The big guys will run up the ball, the fast speedy players with good hands will clean up behind, make the breaks and score at will. To Patrick's credit it was a resounding success for the first half but his charges made a few variations to his original concept.

The small insignificant worms in the back line got confused as to what constitutes "BIG". So we had the likes of Steve ‘Twinkle toes' Richards, Magical Matt and Golden Boy Wazza running the ball up into the large Cottesloe dunderheads. You would have thought this would have been meat and drink to the Dunders. But Nope. This cunning variation fooled them totally. They got confused because they are used to real men running at them, not shirt lifters who squeal with delight when they are held tightly.

Now we get to the next part of Pat's plan "The speedy fast players with the good hands clean up at the back and make the breaks". Once again confusion reigned supreme and the knuckle draggers in the Dog's pack got delusions of grandeur. They made breaks that resembled arthritic grandfather Sloths on a go-slow. Russ, Gareth and Porridge showed off their handling skills to Cott. They gave an awesome demonstration of fumble and bumble which stuffed the Blue Boys up completely. They are used to effeminate nancy boys mincing up to them in Michael Flatley Flashdance style with immaculate ball control, not lumbering morons who dribble from the mouth and make obscene remarks about their mummy's generosity in sharing her bodily favours with the Perth Bayswater first grade.

The major advantage of this devious ploy was that it limited the kicking game of Graham (rubber legs) Ross, cos it denied him the ball. It also brought in the dexterous handling skills of ‘Thumbs' Porridge. He is having an eye test during the off season to confirm the status of his ophthalmic colour recognition sensors as they have a small deficiency. They are unable to differentiate between the green of Wanneroo and the blue of cretinous Cottesloe. Suffice to say that he did occasionally pass the ball to someone in green. Unfortunately it was the gardener from the golf club.

Notwithstanding all of the above the men in green tights killed em.

At half time the Cottesloe coach rang the changes and brought on a complete new outfit who's average age would be about the same as many of the Wanneroo player's grandchildren.

The unsportsmanlike creeps played really well. They ran the ball quickly and they ran it well. They ran it through us, they ran it around us and they ran it over us. They ran it and touched it down a few times and won the game.

The post match speech from super coach reflected on the year that was. The successes and how the season panned out. We had more players than we have ever had and had a bloody good time. He allowed the more mature players to wear their smoking jackets, velvet Fez's and brocade slippers and he let the younger players roll in the mud. Hopefully they will all be back next year. Go the Roodogs.

Other incidents of note:

Gareth "no shoulders" Peak Lovely Boy Hughes, will have to find some other way of having sexual relations because he dislocated his collar bone and has no feeling in his fingers.

Yet another threat of retirement by young Steve ‘Grumpy Laughing Boy Welsh Miserable Git' Richards. He's only in his 50's, so has another decade of playing yet - request denied

Also from Peter "I remember running with the bulls in Pamplona during the civil war" (which would be the last time he ran anywhere) Hinds. He is of a similar vintage to Grumpy -

So request denied.

Final Score: Cottesloe 24 - Wanneroo 15 (don't know who scored - doesn't matter)

Thank you to chief sneak Dave Scholey for the above inside information on the game

Wanneroo U18's v Perth Bayswater at Pat O'Hara Reserve

The guys played their hearts out against the best team in the comp and never surrendered.

This is a team that had disintegrated in the early part of the season and then rebuilt under coach Peter. They deserve all the plaudits we can give them.

Final Score: Perth 70 - Wanneroo 0.

Uniroos v Midland at Midland (report courtesy of Fet)

We lost  

Half time score was "nil" all

Final score - 10 nil... Refereeing sucked! 

Should've been 10 - 5

At half time Kalamunda requested "uncontested scrums" - due to their props getting a hiding!

Final Score: Kalamunda 10 - Uniroos 0

Our ladies season was badly disrupted because of the state tour and has been extended

They play at McGillivray Oval at 1.40pm on Saturday. Please go & support them

UniRoos v Kalamunda at Hartfield       9^th August 2008

A great start to the match saw the UniRoos applying pressure right from the kick off. The defensive line was solid with big hits being put in. Our ruck defence was fantastic throughout the first half. We shut down the big Kalamunda forwards which forced then to start looking to their backs. Fortunately for us our backline defence was in great form. The whole of the first period was played entirely in Kala’s half with the UniRoos constantly pressing the try line but unable to break through

Half time:    Kalamunda 10 - UniRoos  0

Unfortunately Kala capitalised with a cheeky try after half time, with their biggest player running straight through a scrambling Uni defence. Not to be outdone Uni applied some more pressure as we were running kind of with the wind and had the sun to our backs. Kicks seemed to be paying off with great chasing from the backs putting the poor lonely Kalamunda fullback under pressure. A couple of slight brain freezes and some ‘anything goes’ refereeing let the Bulls in for their second slightly controversial try which was awarded.

Not to be outdone Uni pressured the kick off well and camped out on the Kala line. Some quick drives by the forwards set the platform for a pick and go try. Unfortunately the ref was nowhere to be seen and ruled the try held up due to some loud and overbearing advice from the Kala team (but just for the record it was definitely a try). Then time ran out.

The loss of Ave with a knee injury early on in the game was a blow to the Uni defence. Outstanding performances by the sicko’s on the team however saved the game. Egg had some great runs in the centres, proving that a migraine doesn’t have to affect the way you play. Zoe was stealing a ton of ball in the lineout, and we welcomed Paige back into the team as a flying winger. She also showed she hasn’t lost her tackling skills. Speaking of tackling skills, it seems Taylor likes to work on hers on Saturday nights ……just a note tackling a pole at full running pace will put you on your arse, and seriously hurt your shoulder….people are a lot softer to tackle so maybe we should save it for the game next time.

Final Score: Kalamunda 10 - UniRoos  0

The Uni/Wanneroo women take on Perth Bayswater this weekend in their last round match followed by a semi final the following weekend…….so still at least two games to go for the season, lets have some fun and enjoy them.

Kaylene Price